LORI (changing the subject)
Hey, Gary, can I have one of those snacks?
GARY
Sure! (He jumps up and moves over to Lori in the armchair. She takes a snack and pops it in her mouth.)
LORI (mouth full)
These are fantastic!
GARY
My mother’s great aunt made these 80 years ago. Total secret. No one outside of the family has the recipe.
LORI (after the final swallow)
How do we change that?
ALEX (taking one)
Don’t even try. He won’t let me in the kitchen when he’s making them, and I have no idea where he keeps the recipe.
LORI (taking another)
Seriously?
GARY
For real. It’s all up here (touching his head).
LORI (to Jennifer, before eating her next one)
You should really have one. They’re incredible.
(Gary holds out the plate and Jennifer takes a snack. She likes it.)
JENNIFER (after swallowing)
Really good. So cheesy. And light at the same time.
LORI
Right? I can’t tell what the cheese is, but it’s so good.
ALEX
I think it’s manchego, but he tells me—
GARY
Now why in the world would an 80-year old recipe from my Jewish aunt have manchego cheese in it?
ALEX
There were Jews in Spain, and I’m sure it’s not the only place where—
JENNIFER
Actually, it’s only made in the La Mancha region of Spain.
GARY
“La Mancha” like as in “Man of”?
JENNIFER
Yeah, you could say that. It’s where Don Quixote was set.
ALEX
Only musical theatre references work with Gary.
GARY
Hey!
ALEX
What?
GARY
You make me sound like some raging homosexual stereotype.
ALEX
Well?
GARY
That's not fair!
ALEX
You are way more likely to recognize something literary if it can be cross-referenced to something from the American musical theatre canon. I’m not judging, just stating a fact.
GARY
But—
ALEX (to Lori)
Based on the time we spent together, am I wrong?
LORI
I’m not touching any of this with a ten-foot pole. Can I have one more?
(Gary moves over to Lori, who takes the last one off the plate and pops it in her mouth. After she swallows…)
LORI
I agree with Alex. I would guess manchego.
JENNIFER
It’s not manchego.
LORI
How do you know?
JENNIFER
Cheese made from sheep’s milk tastes different the cheese in there.
ALEX
You know that after eating just one?
JENNIFER
I do. Manchego is made from sheep’s milk.
GARY
She’s right. It’s not manchego.
ALEX
How do you know so much about manchego?
JENNIFER
I spent some time in that part of Spain.
LORI
You did? When?
JENNIFER
Awhile back. Actually a long time ago.
GARY
When were you there? Alex and I went to Spain a couple of summers ago, and we loved it!
JENNIFER
My parents took us when I was in 5th grade. My brother was in 3rd.
GARY
Wow! Do you speak Spanish?
JENNIFER
A little.
ALEX
How long were you there?
JENNIFER
About nine months, I think. It was a long time ago, and I—
LORI
Why didn’t you ever tell me this?
JENNIFER
It never came up?
LORI
Seems like it should’ve.
JENNIFER
It’s not a big deal.
ALEX
Why were you there for nine months?
JENNIFER
Uh, well, my dad was a visiting professor at the University of Castillo there, and he brought us along. My parents thought it would be a good experience.
(A bell goes off in the kitchen.)
GARY
Sounds like a great way to spend 5th grade! Manchego cheese and all! I better check on dinner.
(Gary exits with the empty plate.)
LORI
That’s really cool!
JENNIFER
It was ok.
LORI
Hold on! Is that why your parents have that painting in their living room? That one that looks like it’s from Spain and—
JENNIFER
Yeah, they bought it when we were there.
LORI
I’ve always loved that painting. I should have asked earlier.
ALEX
So when you left school here for a year, did you come back behind?
JENNIFER
What do you mean?
ALEX
Like behind the rest of the kids? Did you have to repeat a grade or anything?
JENNIFER
Oh no, my mom home schooled us while we were there, and it was pretty typical to spend a year traveling. Lots of kids did it at my school.
ALEX
Sounds like some school. That reminds me, you never answered my question.
JENNIFER
What?
ALEX
Do you teach where you were taught?
(Jennifer takes a drink of her water, side glances to Lori, and then replies with an uncomfortable smile.)
JENNIFER
No. I don’t.
ALEX
So where did you—
LORI
Alex, I’ve been meaning to ask you about your—
(Suddenly there’s a very loud crashing sound in the kitchen. Gary howls and yells, and everyone jumps up.)
ALEX (overlapping)
What the--?
LORI (overlapping)
Are you ok?
JENNIFER (overlapping)
Do you need help?
GARY (offstage)
SHIIIIIIT!
ALEX (running to the kitchen)
Gary, what’s going on? (offstage) JESUS CHRIST!
LORI (moving towards the kitchen, stopping short)
Oh geez…
(Jennifer moves up next to Lori, as Gary walks out of the kitchen with some kind of food all down his front.)
JENNIFER
Oh. Uh. Wow. Gosh, are you ok?
GARY
I’m fine.
LORI
Did you burn yourself?
GARY
I’m fine. The dinner’s not, but I’m fine.
(Alex comes out of the kitchen with dirty, gloppy paper towels.)
ALEX
Don’t just stand there, Gary, there’s food and broken glass all over the floor!
GARY
I know, Alex, for Christ’s sake, don’t you think I know that? The dinner is all over me too.
ALEX
How the fuck did you manage to drop it?
GARY
I don’t know…
ALEX
How can you not know? Did you slip or something?
GARY
I think the pot holder slipped as I was moving it to the cooling rack, and it just fell.
ALEX
I tell you all the time to be careful with this stuff, and you just flit around and hum your little cooking songs, and then we end up with this mess.
GARY
Would you just shut up about it? I feel awful as it is.
ALEX
Yeah, well what are we gonna do now? We have guests here, GARY! We invited THEM to dinner.
LORI
Guys, guys, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal. Let’s just get this cleaned up, and we’ll order in or something. I’m sure there’s a good Chinese place in this neighborhood. Or Thai or something like that? It’s fine. We're not fussy, right?
JENNIFER (moving to help Gary)
Totally. It’s fine. Don't worry
GARY
But I made this special cauliflower parmesan especially because I knew you don’t eat meat. I found the recipe in the Times, and I even tested it and—
ALEX
You heard what they said. Just stop the whining and let’s get this cleaned up.
LORI
How about I help you in the kitchen?
GARY
No, really, I should—
LORI
I do this all the time. Remember the drop cloth? Right, Jennifer?
JENNIFER
Trust me, this is nothing compared to what Lori can do.
LORI (to Alex)
C’mon.
(Alex and Lori exit into the kitchen.)
JENNIFER
We should really get this shirt into some cold water. It’s going to stain.
GARY
I will never hear the end of this. He will never let me hear the end of this.
JENNIFER
It’s not a big deal.
GARY
He hates it when I make these kinds of mistakes. He loves to keep score on stuff like this. He’ll just add this to the long list of transgressions.
JENNIFER
Uh, I think this needs to get into some cold water or you’ll have to hear about ruining your shirt too.
GARY
Yeah. OK. (He gets up to go towards the hallway.) I’m really so sorry.
JENNIFER
It’s so OK.
GARY
I feel like we’re making a really bad impression.
JENNIFER
Not at all.
GARY
Lori spoke so highly of you when we were—
JENNIFER
That’s nice.
GARY
You’re just like she said you were. That night. It’s all she really kept saying over and over again.
JENNIFER
Uh, thanks, I guess?
(Gary smiles at her, takes her hands, and gives them a squeeze. Then he turns and goes to the hallway. Jennifer is left alone on stage for a moment, taking in the whole scene. Deep breath and moves towards the kitchen, but Lori comes out first, wiping her hands on a dish towel.)
LORI
Wow.
JENNIFER
How’s it going in there?
LORI
It’s a real mess.
(Alex comes out of the kitchen, goes to a small closet and pulls out a dustpan, brush, and small vacuum cleaner.)
ALEX (heading back into kitchen)
Apologies in advance for the noise. I need to get the glass up.
JENNIFER (after Alex is out of ear shot)
Sounds like this has happened before.
LORI
Yeah, I got a real earful in the kitchen while we were wiping up.
JENNIFER
Should we just go?
LORI
God, no. I think that'll just make it worse.
JENNIFER
You’re probably right.
LORI
Although it may be a long evening. Is Gary OK?
JENNIFER
Hard to tell. I told him to get his shirt into some cold water.
LORI
Good idea. You always have the good ideas. (She kisses Jennifer lightly, lovingly.)
JENNIFER
I try.
(They smile at each other and kiss again.)
JENNIFER
Gary said that I’m just like you said I’d be. What did you tell them I’d be like?
(At this moment, the vacuum goes on in the kitchen. Lori smiles, shrugs her shoulders, and kisses Jennifer again.)