Scene 5
(Mark sits at the bar from Scene 3. It’s the next evening, around 7:00pm. Cassie is mixing him a drink. He is dressed very similarly to the day before, same pants, different shirt, and he’s talking on his cell phone. )
MARK
Except for Mom, I’m not really sure who else is gonna be there. Dad’s gotta work, and Sarah’s out of town for her job. . . . Yeah, she’s traveling a lot too. . . .Yeah. . . . Uh huh. Yeah. . . . Right, that’s what I said, but-- . . . Yeah, I know. . . I know. (Cassie hands him his drink. He mouths “thanks.”) OK, you know I should really get going. The dinner’s about to start and I— . . . . OK. Yes, I will call Dad and see if he can get off to be there. . . . Yes, I will call tonight before I go to bed. . . .OK. Right. . . . Yeah, ok, I gotta go. The dinner is starting. . . . Yep, OK, I love you too. . . Got it. Bye, Donna. Bye, yes, Bye! (He hangs up and takes a very large gulp of his drink. It’s strong.) YOW! (He sets it down. To Cassie) That’s a very generous pour.
CASSIE
Sounds like you needed it.
MARK
Oh, yeah. (He sets the phone down.) My sister. She can’t leave anything alone.
CASSIE (wiping down the bar, pretending to half listen)
A sister? Interesting…
MARK
Why is that “interesting?”
CASSIE
It just is.
MARK
You know, I don’t think people say something is “interesting” when it’s interesting. I think they say “interesting” when they censor themselves. Like “interesting” is some kind of polite euphemism for “fucked up” or “shitty” or—
CASSIE
“You treat women like shit.”
MARK
What?
CASSIE
You have a sister and you treat women like shit. That’s interesting to me.
MARK
What are you talking about?
CASSIE
Is she younger or older?
MARK
Older. Why?
CASSIE
Who’s Sarah?
MARK
Were you listening to my conversation?
CASSIE
You were having the conversation in front of me.
MARK
You work in a bar.
CASSIE
And you're in said bar talking right in front of me. (She leans in for emphasis.) Public place.
MARK
That’s fucked up.
CASSIE
I mixed you a double, didn’t I?
MARK
So?
CASSIE
Do you think I would’ve mixed you a double if I hadn’t heard your conversation?
MARK
Why would you mix me a double if you think I treat women like shit?
(Cassie ponders this.)
CASSIE
Cause one bad quality doesn’t mean the whole person goes to shit.
MARK (taking a drink)
That’s interesting.
CASSIE
Think: “fucked up.”
MARK
No, actually, I find it interesting. For real. (He drinks.) Have you always felt that way?
CASSIE (she stops to think)
It’s an evolving philosophy.
MARK
Uh huh. How evolved?
CASSIE
Couple o’ years.
(Mark finishes the drink.)
MARK
Bad break up?
CASSIE (ignoring him)
Another?
MARK
I am really supposed to be at a dinner, but—
CASSIE (moving to the computer screen)
I can run your tab.
MARK
No, not yet. I hate these dinners. I’ll have another.
CASSIE
Same?
MARK
Yeah, but don’t double it. I can’t be slurring when I get to the dinner.
(Cassie starts to mix the drink. Mark’s phone goes off with a text message. He picks it up.)
CASSIE (while working, not looking at him)
You didn’t answer my question.
MARK (half paying attention)
What?
CASSIE
Who’s Sarah?
(Mark looks up from the phone. He considers what Cassie said before.)
MARK
Sarah’s my girlfriend.
CASSIE
Uh huh.
MARK
So now you must think I’m a real dick.
CASSIE
Well, yeah, but you’re a paying customer, and I’m working on my evolving philosophy.
MARK
I’m really confused.
CASSIE
About what?
MARK
Most women would throw that drink in my face if I told them that. After last night?
CASSIE
And?
MARK
And you just keep right on mixing.
CASSIE
I’m doing my job. A bar is a judgment free zone. People come in here to take a load off, forget about their problems. And the tips flow if I let the problems flow.
MARK
Aren’t you women supposed to stick together on this stuff?
CASSIE
“You women”?
MARK
Yeah, you women.
CASSIE
That’s more offensive than you being a slutty cheat with an old lady.
MARK
She’s not old. Forty-four is not old.
CASSIE
Older lady.
MARK
Better, but what’s the difference?
CASSIE
She could be your mom!
MARK
Yo, what happened to “Miss Judgment Free Zone”?
CASSIE
She went on a break.
MARK
You were giving Claire a hard time last night even before she started up with me. I saw you change as soon as she came in. You got all tense and started working at the other end of the bar.
CASSIE
Whatever.
MARK
You did! You were chatting me up, asking me all sorts of questions, and as soon as she came in, you took off.
CASSIE
She’s just so gross. She always has been.
MARK
She’s a lonely older lady.
CASSIE
She’s lonely alright.
MARK
Are you jealous?
CASSIE
Omigod, please give me a little credit. She was my history teacher for Christ’s sake!
MARK
But it sounds like you’re jealous of her. Who cares what she’s doing?
CASSIE
Do you know what we used to call her? (Mark shrugs his shoulders.) Extra credit Claire. You know why?
MARK
Is it that thing you said about her at the bar?
CASSIE
Yeah. It is.
MARK
But she said you did the same thing.
CASSIE
I never blew one of my teachers for a grade. I did the work that I needed to do. She just likes to make shit up.
MARK
Why would she make that up?
CASSIE (handing him the drink)
Why is she in a bar picking up guys like you?
(Mark takes the drink from her.)
MARK
Why should I believe you?
CASSIE
It’s your choice what to believe, Baby Boy.
MARK
Baby Boy? How much younger do you think I am?
CASSIE
I checked your ID last night when you came in. You’re 25.
MARK
Fuck. That’s right. (He takes a drink.) How old are you?
CASSIE
How old do you think?
MARK
Do you think I’m stupid? I may be young, but I know not to guess a woman’s age.
CASSIE
OK. Well, since you are smart enough to know that, I’ll tell you that I’m 30 years old.
MARK
C’mon. (he looks at her long and hard) Seriously?
CASSIE
Why would I lie about being 30? Just turned this year. Do you know any other women who are 30?
MARK
Yeah, my crazy sister, Donna. You’re so much cooler than she is.
CASSIE
Based on your conversation it doesn’t sound like it’s that hard to be cooler than Donna.
MARK
She’s not that bad. Just has way too much time on her hands. Stay at home Mom, always on the phone with our mom and our aunts. Busy body. And then she calls me and has to tell me all about when I really don’t give a fuck. She tries to get Sarah involved and—
CASSIE
The lovely Sarah. How long has she been in the picture?
MARK
A long time.
CASSIE
College?
MARK
Sophomore year.
CASSIE
Getting bored?
MARK
Not exactly. It’s long distance now, and we’re together but—
CASSIE
But you play on the side.
MARK
Actually we both play on the side. That’s the agreement.
CASSIE
Interesting!
MARK
Not this again.
CASSIE
No, I actually really mean it this time. Sarah agreed to this?
MARK
Such a typical response.
CASSIE
What do you mean?
MARK
Asking me if she agreed to this. It was her idea! She’s the one who wanted it to happen. We see each other once a month, and I love her. She says she loves me, and she suggested this open thing.
CASSIE
Open thing?
MARK
We agreed that until we can live close together again, we’re allowed to have sex outside the relationship.
CASSIE
And that’s the stipulation? No other rules?
MARK
Oh, there are lots of rules. No repeats. No co-workers. No reckless behavior. No kissing. Never when we’re in the same city.
CASSIE
Fascinating. Truly.
MARK
Yeah, well, it’s worked for us for two years now, and I’m not going to change it up now.
CASSIE
Will you get married?
MARK
Eventually.
CASSIE
That doesn’t sound so promising.
MARK
We both have good jobs in different cities. Neither of us wants to sacrifice that for a marriage where we both live together.
CASSIE
Sounds logical but so not—
MARK
Traditional?
CASSIE
Normal was what I was thinking but—
MARK
Normal’s overrated.
CASSIE
Says the very handsome white male who benefits every day from what the world thinks is normal.
(Mark raises his glass in a cheers motion and finishes the drink.)
MARK
I should get to my dinner.
CASSIE
What’d I say?
MARK
That last comment was not an evolving philosophy. Can I get my check?
CASSIE
What? It’s true, isn’t it? You just don’t look like the type. I mean really. You look like every guy that graduated from my high school, went off to college, and has some office job now, married with at least one kid, and disappointed with how life turned out.
MARK
I didn’t go to your high school. And I’m five years younger than you. And I’m not doing what the guys you know did. That’s why I love Sarah. She doesn’t want any of that.
CASSIE
Neither did I.
MARK
But look where you ended up.
CASSIE
Where I ended up is just fine.
(Mark gets up to go.)
MARK
Sounds great.
(Mark is leaving.)
CASSIE
It is great. I love my job.
MARK (over his shoulder)
Yeah. It’s a great judgment free zone.
(She yells after him.)
CASSIE
It works for me!
(Mark is offstage. Cassie looks after him and then looks around the bar. The expression on her face doesn’t agree with the words she just said. The lights begin to fade, leaving Cassie staring after Mark. End of scene.)