The more you see the less you know: Thanks, U2

Finally saw something inspiring. Attended the U2 360 tour in Philly last evening.

The concert marked my seventh time seeing the men from Ireland live in concert. I started in 1992 with Zoo TV in the Spectrum in Philly with my dear friend Cathy, then Zoo TV at RFK in DC in the rain with Cathy again and Andrea, followed by Zoo TV at Vet Stadium in Philly with my brother Shawn who eventually eclipsed me in his adoration for the band and my friend Amy, among Cathy and others, who afterward said that she understood why girls held their faces and screamed for the likes of Elvis and the Beatles. (Side note: We slept on the street outside the Vet for fifteen plus hours to get those tickets just days after the riots in LA following the acquittal over the Rodney King beatings.)  Then the Pop tour at Franklin Field in Philly where thirteen of us almost got trampled, and my now sister-in-law Miranda and I witnessed a young woman “worshipping at her boyfriend’s altar” in a very public fashion. Miranda was 16 at most; I was mortified.

After a long hiatus, my brothers scored tickets to the Vertigo tour at the Wachovia Center in Philly watching from a super box directly opposite the stage. We had comfortable seats, bar/food service, etc. Going in, I proclaimed that I would act my age at this concert, as I was well into my 30s. Instead, I left hoarse from screaming like a teenager, eating my words.

Seeing U2 in concert is one of the places where the Salvatore brothers come together and agree. Anyone who knows Shawn, Brian, Kevin, and I would probably say that we are very different, and that has, at moments in our history, caused the typical tension between brothers. But the band has represented a site of neutrality for us, and our shared experience around these concerts creates a special bond that we can always return to, even when a disagreement over politics or family or whatever emerges.

My sixth time seeing U2 marked a very special time with my brothers. Brian and Shawn bought general admission seats on the floor of the Wachovia Center for the second leg of the Vertigo tour. I was reluctant to stand for three hours without a seat in a potential mosh pit, but I eventually succumbed to the peer pressure and signed on to go. The Vertigo tour featured a circular satellite stage that allowed the band members to mix with the general admission audience. U2 introduced this concept on the Zoo TV tour and repeatedly expanded it with subsequent outings. Certain general admission tickets gained access within that satellite oval via lottery. Of course, the Salvatore brothers wanted to be in that oval, but we knew the possibilities were limited. As we arrived at the concert that evening, we got out our tickets and moved through the scan line. I can’t remember which of us went first, but Shawn went last. None of the first three tickets registered anything other than the normal beep for entry. However, when Shawn scanned, an alarm went off, and the venue person asked, “Who are you with?” Shawn said, “These guys,” pointing at the three of us, and they proceeded to hand us pink bracelets that placed us in the center satellite oval on the floor. So I went from the potential of a huge mosh pit to a more intimate, privileged mosh pit, one that I was happy to enter. Bono was basically within reach at one moment, I jumped so much and so hard that I had shin splints the next day, and there are incriminating photos of all of us acting like complete, unadulterated wankers. Suffice it to say, the concert was an incredible experience that I will never forget. The Salvatore brothers still talk about it, and when we do, I get glassy-eyed and a little weak in the knees. It’s an important moment of shared history for us, and I am incredibly grateful for it.

Salvatore Shawn was absent from our party of eight last evening, as he opted for a break, and he was sorely missed. Brian and Kevin brought their wives (Meghan and Miranda–yes, the teenager from the Pop tour), some friends of Brian and Meghan’s, and my cousin, Renee. Renee is like a sister and had never seen U2 live, so the family affair continued. At one point, Bono’s profile came up on the INCREDIBLE live television show that they produced as the concert unfolded, and Renee simply turned to me and said, “I just changed my religion. OK?”.

U2 gave us their typical high-energy live performance, but the technical theatricality that has become a trademark over recent tours has just intensified on the 360 tour. Basically, a circular, ever-morphing projection surface provides a two-hour live, simultaneous broadcast of the concert. Renee, Kevin, Miranda, and I all work in the theatre in some capacity, and we spent the evening in awe of the magic and intimacy that unfolded before us. I should have carpal tunnel syndrome from pointing so much at what was happening. The music and vocals were awesome as usual, but the immersive quality of the experience is what makes the U2 live concert such an institution. As a theatre maker, I’m inspired by what they achieve. The boys know their roles in the performance, and they play them to the letter. And whoever directs this live broadcast is a genius. End of story.

The men of U2 have been inspiring me for almost 20 years now, and I look forward to their next outing. Their music lands in my head and my chest and reminds me about things that I need to consider and care about, their theatricality pushes my own artistic sensibilities, and their political and social messages offer me hope that so called “megastars” can still maintain a worthwhile global consciousness that others can and must aspire to achieve.

Thanks, U2, for personal history and inspiration and for showing your love.

Good, giving and game: Thank you, Dan Savage & Mark Oppenheimer

In this weekend’s New York Times Magazine, Mark Oppenheimer writes about marriage and infidelity in one of the most compelling and thoughtful ways that I’ve seen.  His article is called “Marriage, with Infidelities,” and it’s started quite a conversation in the “comments” area online, with 431 as of this blog post.  Oppenheimer writes the Beliefs column for The Times, and in my mind that makes his work this weekend all the more powerful and important to consider.  You can read more by and about Mark Oppenheimer here. The title of my blog post refers to a phrase that Dan Savage uses, and you’ll have to read the article to find out what it means.  If you don’t know Dan Savage’s work already, you really should, and you will know more after reading Oppenheimer’s article.

The ideas of monogamy and fidelity have been at the center of my creative work for the past five years, most notably through my play III about the 15-year menage between George Platt Lynes, Glenway Wescott, and Monroe Wheeler from 1927-1943, and then my more recent play open heart featuring verbatim interview excepts from 15 gay and bisexual men, some of them coupled, talking about their experiences in open, non-monogamous relationships with other men.  Both plays focus on relationships between men, but each time they were produced, the thoughtful comments coming from people of all sexual orientations, drawing parallels to their own experiences in long-term, committed relationships, excited me beyond my expectations and affirmed for me that people want and need to talk about these issues.

Oppenheimer’s article uses Dan Savage’s ideas on monogamy and marriage as a way into the discussion, but then he carries that conversation into deeper territory by repeatedly highlighting the idea that ultimately a loving, committed relationship between two (or more) people requires honesty and communication and an understanding of all parties’ realistic expectations around relationship monogamy.  Oppenheimer and The Times are already taking some flack for the article, and that’s understandable.  People who have been burned by dishonesty in a relationship (“Raise your hand if you’re Sure”) probably don’t want to read about how infidelity might be “OK” for a relationship to encounter and endure.  I’m not opposed to monogamy nor am I advocating for anyone to enter into a relationship that s/he isn’t comfortable with.  If monogamy is for you, then go for it.  However, Oppenheimer’s article does a great job of examining our historical and current relationship constructs and how these have led us to an assumption of monogamy rather than a choice for monogamy.  And for me that’s the key.  Assumptions about marriage and commitment have been wreaking havoc for a long time now, and this article effectively points out that it’s time for us to stop making asses out of each other.  Have the conversations, people.

I really want to encourage anyone in a relationship or contemplating a relationship to read this article.  It’s a thoughtful exploration of a difficult topic written in a very accessible way.  It’s not a conversion piece by any means, but rather an intelligent exploration of what it means to commit to another person in the 21st century.

Marriage Rights in NY State: A reality

I feel surprisingly happy about the passage of the same-sex marriage bill in New York state.  While I still have questions about why we want this institution to define and validate our homosexual relationships, I’m fascinated at the possibilities that seem to unfold as a result of this new law.

My boyfriend and I watched the final moments of the debate on the Senate floor last evening, then watched the vote, kind of by accident, as we channel surfed looking at other programs on television.  Of course, the commentary following the vote was full of rhetoric and interviews with people spouting unrealistic expectations on the streets of New York City.  Yes, marriage equality has arrived, but the legislation doesn’t automatically change the feelings of people who still discriminate against or “tolerate” LGBT people.  For example, as quoted by CNN.com, the delightful Catholic bishops of New York had the following to say:

“‘We worry that both marriage and the family will be undermined by this tragic presumption of government in passing this legislation that attempts to redefine these cornerstones of civilization,’ the state’s Catholic bishops said in a joint statement released late Friday. It was signed by Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan and seven other bishops.”

That’s the pot calling the kettle black, people.  An institution rife with scandal for centuries talking about the cornerstones of civilization.  I love the irony of these guys who wear the fancy robes and the big hats thinking that they have the special 4-1-1 Bat Phone to Jesus.

But this is what I mean about banging the tambourine a little early.  Marriage equality is one step forward among many steps that need to be taken on the road to equality for LGBT people.  I know that it’s a big step, but we can’t assume that the world can now be viewed through rose-colored glasses.  We’ve got work to do in our communities, particularly in our schools, and the way that we “teach tolerance.”  I don’t like being “tolerated.”  Accepted and embraced as fully equal is more up my alley.  So let’s use marriage equality as a step towards true, full change in our society.  If I see that happen in my lifetime, I’ll join the celebration.  Fully.

What makes a great arts educator?

I’m blogging tonight from Washington, DC, as I’m in town for a roundtable discussion with some exceptional arts educators whose students have been named Presidential Scholars in the Arts for 2011. These students are nominated after receiving recognition through YoungArts, the signature program of National Foundation for Advancement in the Arts. I have consulted for this organization for a few years now, and I’m excited by the work that happens and the young people that gain recognition through the YoungArts program.

Tomorrow’s roundtable meets at the Hirshhorn Museum, the Smithsonian’s museum of international modern and contemporary art. The arts educators in attendance will be asked to address questions about best practices that they used that have helped to cultivate this year’s cohort of Presidential Scholars in the Arts. We will also ask them to consider what other supports they might need that could help them to expand on their work with young artists.

In this harrowing time of deep budget cuts to educational programs throughout the country, arts education programs will most definitely suffer. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance for arts educators to identify our strengths and our powerful positions, rather than wallowing in weakness and despair. If we as arts educators view ourselves as disenfranchised, why should anyone else value what we do? Our belief and conviction creates passion and respect in others, and that’s how we will survive this difficult moment.

So to anyone out there reading this blog who is an arts educator or has benefitted from arts education or has children who have benefitted from arts education, what do you think about those questions that we’re asking on Monday? How have you been successful and why? What are your strengths as an arts educator? What strengths have you seen in your children’s teachers? What do arts educators need to make their work even stronger? And let’s take the dialogue beyond money and time. Those are givens for all of us, and we have to stop using them as self-imposed obstacles. Comment directly on this blog post, as it would be great to get a dialogue going. And I’ll do my best to share your thoughts with my colleagues at the National Foundation for Advancement in the Arts.

Following the roundtable, I’ll be attending A Salute to the 2011 U.S. Presidential Scholars at the Kennedy Center. The event will live stream at 8:00pm at www.youngarts.org, so check it out.

To see a video of the YoungArts Out of the Studio performance that I directed in April, click here, and then you will see a video for Out of the Studio. I served as the Assistant Creative Director and focused on creating this piece with these 12 talented young people from all over the U.S. (in about 15 hours!) while the Creative Director, JLove Calderon, created facilitation experiences where the young artists became embassadors for the arts in various communities in NYC. It was a great experience for all of us! And four of them became Presidential Scholars, so I’m thrilled and honored to be able to see them perform at the Kennedy Center!

I look forward to your responses to the questions and ideas above.

The road to anarchy is paved with not the sharpest stones from the quarry

I woke up this morning to a CNN.com posting with the title, “Super Bowl hero warns of ‘anarchy’ if NY approves gay marriage.”

Huh?

As many people know, my boyfriend and I are not beating any civic or church organization’s door down to step in and publicly declare our nuptials for each other.  I think marriage is an antiquated institution that reflects an Old World way of thinking about relationships between two people.  However, I’m finally starting to accept that it’s a step that many people need to take to validate their relationship.  For those who are married, I respect the choice, and I hope that you and your partner have found a multitude of ways to navigate it so that the arrangement works for you, regardless of your sexual orientation.

The retired NY Giants “hero,” David Tyree, famous for his helmet catch in Super Bowl XLII, came out yesterday in defense of marriage between a man and a woman in a video statement for the National Organization for Marriage.  As the NY state House of Representatives approved a bill for same-sex marriage legislation yesterday, the opposition needed to pull in the “big guns.”  Suffice it to say, there are a few ironies swirling around this statement from Tyree.

First off, Tyree did jail time for a 2004 drug possession charge.  You can read about that story in the New York Times article here.  That same article also reveals that his estranged girlfriend and now wife was pregnant when he came out of jail.  So drug use and pre-marital sex leading to a pregnancy.  I’m thrilled that David Tyree has become a rehabilitated, God-fearing, testifying Christian.  That’s delightful for him.  I’m not so happy about him being held up as someone that we should listen to about the state of the world.  Just live your quiet, very wealthy, post-helmet catch life, and leave everyone else alone.

Second, according to the CNN post, Tyree says that “the [New York state] bill’s passage would be the beginning of our country sliding toward…anarchy.”

Oh really?

Doesn’t our helmet catch “hero” realize that in very recent history, people would have said the same thing about African Americans having the right to vote or go to school with white people, which he would have done when he attended Syracuse University?  This is not the sharpest position for him to take.  And worse (or better for those who think about and respect history), the National Organization for Marriage is putting this guy and this position at the forefront of its campaign to stop the passage of the bill for same-sex marriage in New York state.

These anti-gay people are getting more and more desperate, and they’re resorting to spokespeople with sketchy credentials to speak for their positions.

I know.  They aren’t “anti-gay,” they’re against same-sex marriage.  “There’s a difference.”

Whatever.

Find some sharper stones in your quarry, people.  But remember, lay them down gently (as Renee Post likes to say) and don’t throw them.  You just had your windows cleaned.