Lifting the perfection veil...

Last evening I was watching The Voice, and Pharrell Williams and Rihanna were coaching a young singer. The singer seemed to struggle with confidence issues, and the two coaches kept trying to get her to believe in her abilities. It was starting to work, but very slowly. Then Pharrell said the following:

"Do not let perfection be your veil between the window of opportunity."

I immediately put down my computer and wrote that statement down on a piece of paper. If only Pharrell Williams would come hang out in a rehearsal studio some time and whisper that in my ear. Or find me in the coffee shop where I'm trying to write, sit down across from me with a latte, and just say that. He wouldn't have to stay long. Those words would suffice. Then he could be on his fashionable, merry way.

Point being, we all need these kinds of reminders. I've been making work in similar ways for many years now, and it's only when I push myself out of my comfort zone that I find new ways of being. On a street, in a field, out in the rain. That's where I make discoveries, and those places won't allow for perfection. The freedom is extraordinary. And empowering. Can it be that way all the time?

Long ago, I had a teacher, Nancy King, who asked us to work with visual images in a writing class. She had us paint images and then write in response to those images. She required us to work with finger paints. Why? Because it's really hard to be perfect with finger paints.

I've never forgotten that moment of explanation, yet somehow it's hard to remember that I can apply the message to my own work as well. In other words, get out of my own way. Stop trying to be perfect. Let the rough edges show. Rediscover imperfection as a basic human quality.

Serial Play--entry #4: Dropsies

LORI (changing the subject)
Hey, Gary, can I have one of those snacks?

GARY
Sure! (He jumps up and moves over to Lori in the armchair. She takes a snack and pops it in her mouth.)

LORI (mouth full)
These are fantastic!

GARY
My mother’s great aunt made these 80 years ago. Total secret. No one outside of the family has the recipe.

LORI (after the final swallow)
How do we change that?

ALEX (taking one)
Don’t even try. He won’t let me in the kitchen when he’s making them, and I have no idea where he keeps the recipe.

LORI (taking another)
Seriously?

GARY
For real. It’s all up here (touching his head).

LORI (to Jennifer, before eating her next one)
You should really have one. They’re incredible.

(Gary holds out the plate and Jennifer takes a snack.  She likes it.)

JENNIFER (after swallowing)
Really good. So cheesy. And light at the same time.

LORI
Right? I can’t tell what the cheese is, but it’s so good.

ALEX
I think it’s manchego, but he tells me—

GARY
Now why in the world would an 80-year old recipe from my Jewish aunt have manchego cheese in it?

ALEX
There were Jews in Spain, and I’m sure it’s not the only place where—

JENNIFER
Actually, it’s only made in the La Mancha region of Spain.

GARY
“La Mancha” like as in “Man of”?

JENNIFER
Yeah, you could say that. It’s where Don Quixote was set.

ALEX
Only musical theatre references work with Gary. 

GARY
Hey!

ALEX
What?

GARY
You make me sound like some raging homosexual stereotype.

ALEX
Well?

GARY
That's not fair!

ALEX
You are way more likely to recognize something literary if it can be cross-referenced to something from the American musical theatre canon. I’m not judging, just stating a fact.

GARY
But—

ALEX (to Lori)
Based on the time we spent together, am I wrong?

LORI
I’m not touching any of this with a ten-foot pole. Can I have one more?

(Gary moves over to Lori, who takes the last one off the plate and pops it in her mouth. After she swallows…)

LORI
I agree with Alex. I would guess manchego.

JENNIFER
It’s not manchego.

LORI
How do you know?

JENNIFER
Cheese made from sheep’s milk tastes different the cheese in there.

ALEX
You know that after eating just one?

JENNIFER
I do.  Manchego is made from sheep’s milk.

GARY
She’s right.  It’s not manchego. 

ALEX
How do you know so much about manchego?

JENNIFER
I spent some time in that part of Spain.

LORI
You did?  When?

JENNIFER
Awhile back. Actually a long time ago.

GARY
When were you there?  Alex and I went to Spain a couple of summers ago, and we loved it!

JENNIFER
My parents took us when I was in 5th grade.  My brother was in 3rd.

GARY
Wow! Do you speak Spanish?

JENNIFER
A little.

ALEX
How long were you there?

JENNIFER
About nine months, I think.  It was a long time ago, and I—

LORI
Why didn’t you ever tell me this?

JENNIFER
It never came up?

LORI
Seems like it should’ve.

JENNIFER
It’s not a big deal.

ALEX
Why were you there for nine months?

JENNIFER
Uh, well, my dad was a visiting professor at the University of Castillo there, and he brought us along.  My parents thought it would be a good experience.

(A bell goes off in the kitchen.)

GARY
Sounds like a great way to spend 5th grade! Manchego cheese and all! I better check on dinner.

(Gary exits with the empty plate.)

LORI
That’s really cool!

JENNIFER
It was ok.

LORI
Hold on! Is that why your parents have that painting in their living room? That one that looks like it’s from Spain and—

JENNIFER
Yeah, they bought it when we were there. 

LORI
I’ve always loved that painting. I should have asked earlier.

ALEX
So when you left school here for a year, did you come back behind?

JENNIFER
What do you mean?

ALEX
Like behind the rest of the kids?  Did you have to repeat a grade or anything?

JENNIFER
Oh no, my mom home schooled us while we were there, and it was pretty typical to spend a year traveling.  Lots of kids did it at my school.

ALEX
Sounds like some school. That reminds me, you never answered my question.

JENNIFER
What?

ALEX
Do you teach where you were taught?

(Jennifer takes a drink of her water, side glances to Lori, and then replies with an uncomfortable smile.)

JENNIFER
No. I don’t.

ALEX
So where did you—

LORI
Alex, I’ve been meaning to ask you about your—

(Suddenly there’s a very loud crashing sound in the kitchen. Gary howls and yells, and everyone jumps up.)

ALEX (overlapping)
What the--?

LORI (overlapping)
Are you ok?

JENNIFER (overlapping)
Do you need help?

GARY (offstage)
SHIIIIIIT!

ALEX (running to the kitchen)
Gary, what’s going on? (offstage) JESUS CHRIST!

LORI (moving towards the kitchen, stopping short)
Oh geez…

(Jennifer moves up next to Lori, as Gary walks out of the kitchen with some kind of food all down his front.)

JENNIFER
Oh. Uh. Wow. Gosh, are you ok?

GARY
I’m fine.

LORI
Did you burn yourself?

GARY
I’m fine. The dinner’s not, but I’m fine.

(Alex comes out of the kitchen with dirty, gloppy paper towels.)

ALEX
Don’t just stand there, Gary, there’s food and broken glass all over the floor!

GARY
I know, Alex, for Christ’s sake, don’t you think I know that?  The dinner is all over me too.

ALEX
How the fuck did you manage to drop it?

GARY
I don’t know…

ALEX
How can you not know? Did you slip or something?

GARY
I think the pot holder slipped as I was moving it to the cooling rack, and it just fell.

ALEX
I tell you all the time to be careful with this stuff, and you just flit around and hum your little cooking songs, and then we end up with this mess. 

GARY
Would you just shut up about it? I feel awful as it is.

ALEX
Yeah, well what are we gonna do now?  We have guests here, GARY! We invited THEM to dinner.

LORI
Guys, guys, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal.  Let’s just get this cleaned up, and we’ll order in or something. I’m sure there’s a good Chinese place in this neighborhood.  Or Thai or something like that?  It’s fine.  We're not fussy, right?

JENNIFER (moving to help Gary)
Totally.  It’s fine.  Don't worry

GARY
But I made this special cauliflower parmesan especially because I knew you don’t eat meat. I found the recipe in the Times, and I even tested it and—

ALEX
You heard what they said.  Just stop the whining and let’s get this cleaned up.

LORI
How about I help you in the kitchen?

GARY
No, really, I should—

LORI
I do this all the time. Remember the drop cloth?  Right, Jennifer?

JENNIFER
Trust me, this is nothing compared to what Lori can do.

LORI (to Alex)
C’mon.

(Alex and Lori exit into the kitchen.)

JENNIFER
We should really get this shirt into some cold water. It’s going to stain.

GARY
I will never hear the end of this. He will never let me hear the end of this.

JENNIFER
It’s not a big deal.

GARY
He hates it when I make these kinds of mistakes. He loves to keep score on stuff like this.  He’ll just add this to the long list of transgressions. 

JENNIFER
Uh, I think this needs to get into some cold water or you’ll have to hear about ruining your shirt too.

GARY
Yeah. OK. (He gets up to go towards the hallway.) I’m really so sorry.

JENNIFER
It’s so OK.

GARY
I feel like we’re making a really bad impression.

JENNIFER
Not at all.

GARY
Lori spoke so highly of you when we were—

JENNIFER
That’s nice.

GARY
You’re just like she said you were. That night. It’s all she really kept saying over and over again.

JENNIFER
Uh, thanks, I guess?

(Gary smiles at her, takes her hands, and gives them a squeeze.  Then he turns and goes to the hallway. Jennifer is left alone on stage for a moment, taking in the whole scene. Deep breath and moves towards the kitchen, but Lori comes out first, wiping her hands on a dish towel.)

LORI
Wow.

JENNIFER
How’s it going in there?

LORI
It’s a real mess.

(Alex comes out of the kitchen, goes to a small closet and pulls out a dustpan, brush, and small vacuum cleaner.)

ALEX (heading back into kitchen)
Apologies in advance for the noise. I need to get the glass up.

JENNIFER (after Alex is out of ear shot)
Sounds like this has happened before.

LORI
Yeah, I got a real earful in the kitchen while we were wiping up.

JENNIFER
Should we just go?

LORI
God, no.  I think that'll just make it worse.

JENNIFER
You’re probably right.

LORI
Although it may be a long evening. Is Gary OK?

JENNIFER
Hard to tell. I told him to get his shirt into some cold water.

LORI
Good idea. You always have the good ideas. (She kisses Jennifer lightly, lovingly.)

JENNIFER
I try.

(They smile at each other and kiss again.)

JENNIFER
Gary said that I’m just like you said I’d be.  What did you tell them I’d be like?

(At this moment, the vacuum goes on in the kitchen. Lori smiles, shrugs her shoulders, and kisses Jennifer again.)

Artists I admire: Aliza Sarian

Last winter I had the pleasure of teaching playwriting workshops with some fantastic eighth graders at the Salk School of Science in Manhattan. Their teacher, Aliza Sarian, is a former student of mine and a great playwriting teacher.

Aliza has about 120 eighth graders each year, and all of them write 10-minute plays that go through multiple revisions and drafts. Eventually, eight to twelve plays get mounted in a one-act festival in June. It's an extraordinary amount of work on Aliza's part, but her students produce exceptional stories. Additionally, Aliza is a very skilled and dedicated dramaturg for new plays, and her students reap the benefits of her knowledge and experience. Needless to say, I was coming in to do workshops with them, and I left having learned a ton from Aliza and her students.

Because of her great skill as a teacher, her commitment to new play development, and her cultivation of young artists in her classroom, not to mention her prowess as a dramaturg for new plays, Aliza Sarian is an artist that I admire. If you have a chance, you should absolutely check out her work at the Salk School of Science, and read more about her here.

Earning a moment

For one of the projects in my undergraduate directing class, I require students to create a non-verbal story set to a song of their choice. I think of the project as a live music video of sorts. The story that the director chooses to tell can have direct connections to the song, or the song can simplify provide the underscoring for the story.

I always learn a lot from seeing what my students create for this assignment. To begin, I discover a lot about popular music, as I hear songs by artists I didn't know existed. I also have the chance to see how new approaches to staging might work (or not) in the Provincetown Playhouse, where I'm lucky enough to teach the class. I love working in this theatre, but like any performance space, it has its idiosyncrasies and challenges. My students have taught me tons about the space as they present their projects each fall.

The projects also usually teach me something about playwriting, as I'm always reminded of how important it is to be conscious of how characters earn the right to know a piece of information. So often we rely on coincidences or magical solutions to help move a plot forward, and as a result, a character suddenly knows something important without having discovered it in full view of the audience.  Or a discovery happens more quickly than it would be possible in logical, real life circumstances. It's in these moments that I talk to young directors about making sure that characters earn the information that they have access to in a story. This is an important lesson for playwrights as well, and actors should keep it in mind as they work to discover how the characters they play make meaning of their worlds. All of these elements need to be considered if we want an audience to buy into the authenticity of the stories we tell.

Earning a moment requires investment in all of the given circumstances leading up to that moment. A playwright needs to write that clearly, a director needs to stage it with attention to rhythm and pacing, and an actor needs to play it with logical responses in mind that allow the moment to be legible for an audience.

Serial Play-entry #3: You teach where?

GARY
It was a total coincidence that I had to be in Boston the same day for a deposition. And Lori was there promoting her new book. All of us were supposed to be on that train, and for some reason, the three of us didn’t make it.

ALEX
And we weren’t the only ones. The traffic getting to the train station was awful for some reason, and about 30 people missed that train. We were all standing around, pissed at Boston traffic and pissed at Amtrak for being on time for once, and then the board just started showing all trains as “Delayed.” Then they made an announcement that train traffic to New York had been suspended until further notice, and mass chaos broke out.

LORI
That’s when you called and told me what you were seeing on the news.

GARY
And that’s how we found out that the train we were supposed to be on had derailed.

(There is silence as the four of them take in what Gary has said. Lori sits down in the chair with her drink, the weight of the memory being a little too much for her. Alex is the first to break the silence.)

ALEX
Hey, didn’t we agree that we wouldn’t spend tonight talking about THAT night. At least that’s what it said in the email that I got. And what’s a girl gotta do to get a drink around here? Gary? Can I get a drink please?

GARY
Only if the ladies agree to stay.

ALEX
The purpose of tonight was for us to get to know Jennifer. Right?

GARY
Right.

(Lori looks up at Jennifer who is closest to the door.)

JENNIFER
I don’t know. I feel like I already made a pretty bad impression.

GARY
You? Oh for Pete’s sake, Lady. We didn’t hear the buzzer, my husband introduced himself in his underwear with his junk out front under the hood instead of in the trunk--

ALEX
Gary?  Really?

GARY
--and we’re discussing our near death experience like a deleted scene from Steel Magnolias. All we need is Sally Field to buzz up, and it’ll be a real humdinger.  YOU, my dear, have not made a bad impression in the least.

LORI
How can you resist that many over-the-top references in so few breaths?

JENNIFER
It was pretty good. It’s been awhile since I’ve heard a decent Steel Magnolias reference.

ALEX
Please don’t encourage him. After a couple of drinks he’ll recite the movie for you if you pay him any more compliments.

JENNIFER
Got it. I’ll be careful.  (she turns to Lori)  Sorry. You know how I get.

LORI
Oh, I do. And it’s fine. Let’s just start again with the conversation, and I’m doing to let you do the introducing of you.

GARY
Exactly. On that note, get started with that introducing, and I’ll get drinks for us.

(Gary exits to the kitchen and we hear the cocktails being mixed over the next few lines before his entrance. Alex motions for Jennifer to have a seat on the couch, and he sits at the other end.)

ALEX
So I know that Lori teaches sociology and writes books. She said that you were a teacher, but I can’t remember of what. (To Lori) Did we talk about that?

LORI
I think I said Jennifer was a teacher, but that night—

ALEX
Oh yeah, which I just said we weren’t gonna talk about.

LORI
Check. (she drinks)

ALEX
So you’re a teacher?

JENNIFER
Uh, well, yeah, but not at a university or anything.

ALEX
Yeah? So what do you teach?

JENNIFER
I teach 3rd grade at a private school on the Upper East Side.

ALEX
Nice! Which one?  There’re so many up there.  Brearley, Dalton, Hunter..?

JENNIFER
Hunter’s actually a public school.

ALEX
Oh, I thought it was private.

JENNIFER
Lots of people think it is, but it’s public. Part of the CUNY system and connected to Hunter College.

ALEX
Got it. So where then?

JENNIFER
Where what?

ALEX
Where do you teach?

LORI
She teaches atConvent of the Sacred Heart.

JENNIFER
Lori!

LORI
What?

ALEX
Huh! That’s a really fancy school!

JENNIFER
It’s just—

ALEX
Sometimes I walk past it on my way to a meeting on that side of town for one of my clients. Beautiful building. Or actually a couple of buildings, right?

JENNIFER
Well, yes, there are two mansions that were converted to—

LORI
It’s the school where Lady Gaga went.

ALEX
Yes! I knew I knew someone famous went there! That must be really cool!

LORI
She’s not the only one.  There are lots of—

JENNIFER
Let’s not run down the list, ok?  It’s a school just like any other, and we really try to treat everyone the same.

ALEX
Treat all the rich people the same, you mean.  The ones who can afford to send their kids there.

JENNIFER (setting her drink down)
What’s that supposed to mean?

ALEX
What? I mean it’s clearly a privileged—

GARY (offstage)
Hey, Tarzan, I’m having trouble getting the top off the shaker! Can you come help?

ALEX
He does this all the time. He shakes it so hard that the top freezes shut. COMING!

(Alex exits to the kitchen leaving the two women sitting with their drinks.)

JENNIFER
Why did you say you liked these guys again?

LORI
Jen, c’mon. They’re nice guys.

JENNIFER
I’m having trouble seeing the “nice” part.

LORI
I told you they’re a little over the top about some stuff, but overall they’re way more down to earth than most of the middle aged gay guys we meet.

JENNIFER
I guess. (she takes a drink) I just didn’t appreciate that last comment.

LORI
Which one?

JENNIFER
The one about the rich people.

LORI
Omigod, don’t tell me you haven’t heard that a thousand times before when you tell people where you work.

JENNIFER
I know, Lori, I hear it all the time. That’s why I like to end the conversation with “I’m a teacher” rather than spilling out all the details.

LORI
I was just trying to make conversation. I knew he would be all into the famous people part of your job. When I told them I was on CNN that one time, they flipped out.

JENNIFER
All the more reason to keep the school details to yourself.

(At this moment, Gary comes running back into the room with a tray of snacks followed by a tentatively walking Alex carrying two very full drinks. Gary immediately goes to Jennifer with the plate, sits down on the couch pretty close to her, and offers her a snack.)

GARY
So I had no idea that you knew Lady Gaga! Alex just said you know her from your job and—

JENNIFER (to Lori)
This is what I mean.

GARY
What?

JENNIFER
I do not know Lady Gaga.

LORI
She works at the school where Lady Gaga went to school. (to Alex) I didn't say that Jennifer knows Lady Gaga.

ALEX (still staring at the drinks and walking slowly)
I didn’t say it either, but Gary hears what he wants to hear.

(Alex arrives at this point to hand Gary his drink, makes a “toasting” motion with his own, and proceeds to take two very large gulps of it.)

GARY
So you don’t know Lady Gaga?

JENNIFER
I walk past her class picture every day on the way to my classroom, but the only way I know it’s her is because the dean of students pointed it out to me on my interview. She looks nothing like the Lady Gaga you know.

GARY
Really?

JENNIFER
Really.

LORI
She’s got a point. Gaga had to wear the same dress as everyone else for the picture. No raw meat allowed on class picture day.

JENNIFER
She wasn’t even Gaga then, so it doesn’t really make a difference.

ALEX
Didn’t she shoot her special with the Muppets there?

GARY
No, Silly!  She shot A Very Gaga Thanksgiving there. (to Jennifer) Did you go?

JENNIFER
To what?

GARY
The shooting of the special?

JENNIFER
Of course not!

LORI
She wasn’t even working there yet.

JENNIFER
This is my third year. They shot it the year before I was hired.

GARY
Damn!

ALEX
He loves Gaga. Where were you before Sacred Heart?

JENNIFER
Just a another school. I got tired of being in the same place, and Sacred Heart seemed like a nice change.

ALEX
Did you not like the other school?

JENNIFER
No, I just felt like I was ready for a new environment.

ALEX
Where was the other school?

JENNIFER
Same neighborhood.

(Alex is silent, waiting for her to answer.)

JENNIFER
I was at Chapin. 

GARY
Woohoo, that’s another pricey one, isn’t it?

ALEX
Whoa, you’re really jet setting aren’t you?

JENNIFER
No, I’m teaching. Trust me, there’s nothing glamorous about teaching at these schools. They’re schools just like anywhere else—

ALEX
C’mon, Jennifer, are you serious?

JENNIFER
What? Yes, I’m serious.

ALEX
You really believe that?

JENNIFER
Yes, I believe it. I’m teaching my girls at Sacred Heart or Chapin or anywhere else the same way that kids get taught everywhere.

ALEX
Do you teach the way you were taught?

JENNIFER
Well, any teacher teaches the way they were taught. Teachers develop their approach as a response to how they were taught. I teach in response to how I was taught.

ALEX
Do you teach where you were taught?

LORI (frantically changing the subject)
Hey, Gary, can I have one of those snacks?

GARY
Sure! (He jumps up and moves over to Lori in the armchair. She takes a snack and pops it in her mouth.)

LORI (mouth full)
These are fantastic! (swallows, but still chewing)  Have one, Jennifer, they’re great!

GARY (moving back to Jennifer)
My mother’s recipe. Her great aunt made these 80 years ago. Total secret. No one outside of the family has the recipe.